Mary Pineda, my friend

Mary and Rebecca on the Pioneer Trek, June 2013

Every soul is precious, but no one understood that better than my dear friend, Mary Pineda.  Mary passed away on December 15, 2013, after a two and a half year battle with melanoma cancer.  Today is her birthday.

I first interacted with Mary five years ago at my Grandpa Ralph’s funeral, where she gave me a hug and expressed her feelings for what a great man he was.  I remember thinking, wow, I don’t know you, but just from looking at you I want to be your friend and you just made me feel welcomed into your life by giving me a simple hug. 

Over the past 4 years Mary became a part of my life as she realized I was struggling through pregnancies and constantly asked how she could help.  Many people casually throw the phrase: “If there is anything I can do to help you let me know!” but with Mary it was always spoken so sincerely that I actually let her into my heart and into my life and into my home to do such mundane tasks as pick up my disaster of a house or even clean my fridge. 

Because Mary was someone that was willing to serve me with such a Christlike love when I went through some emotional struggles with post-partum depression she was one of very few people whom I trusted with the details of everything I was going through and whom I could ask for a ride to see a counselor because I didn’t feel quite safe enough to drive myself.  While I spent an hour talking to the specialist, she watched my baby and gave me peace of mine that I was not alone.  In that instance she was like a mother to me because I was able to say things in front of her that I would usually only say in front of someone as close as my mother. 

Mary had a calming presence and a penetrating look of love when she asked you how you were doing.  Her “how are YOU doing?” questions were never casually tossed around, never used as a substitution for the word “hello” but were sincere questions, wanting to know how your life was going and how she could best serve you.  Everyone felt Mary’s love.  She gave it freely. 

I remember going to the Whittier Stake’s 50th anniversary ball.  Mary and Luis were at the dance and of course, Mary looked stunning.  I remember going up to her and Luis and complimenting how beautiful she looked.  Mary was physically beautiful, but it was the spirit she had within her, the characteristics that she had cultivated, that made her so beautiful that she drew people to her like a magnet.  People wanted to be with Mary because of her radiance. 

When you were with Mary you felt unconditionally loved and not judged.  If anything, you felt like Mary gave you more praise than you deserved, but it was always heartfelt and completely sincere.  She lifted you up and made you feel better about yourself.  She exemplified the way I believe the Savior feels about us.  She was a true disciple of Jesus Christ.  


One time I remember thinking to myself, “when I grow up, I want to be like Mary!” I have since seen another friend post the exact same sentiment on facebook.  Mary radiated such an elegant grace-she carried herself like a queen in the very best sense of the word.  But a queen who loved everyone and made everyone feel more important than her. 

The following is what I wrote about her on facebook the day she left this life: 

“Earth lost an angel today when my dear friend, Mary Pineda, passed away this afternoon. She taught us how to love unconditionally, she taught us how to serve with Christlike compassion, she gave smiles and hugs freely to everyone. She loved everyone with such purity- something the rest of us spend a lifetime trying to learn.
She was there for me during my difficult pregnancies and post-partum depression even though she was going through her own struggles. She never complained. She lifted, blessed, encouraged and loved everyone, especially her Savior. She was a true disciple of Christ.
During the last lengthy conversation I had with her recently she told me she was planning on running a half-marathon and a marathon someday. Mary, you "ran with patience the race that was set before you" (Heb 12:1) and you won. You have set the example for us all to follow. We will be with you again some day. You loved us deeply and because of that we will miss you deeply. You are for ever in our hearts.”

Dear Mary,

thank you for the example you were to me.  Thank you for loving me.  I miss you. It still doesn’t feel real that you are actually gone and that I won’t see your smiling face next Sunday at church.  But I know you are still smiling down on us and just waiting patiently for the day we will all be together again.

Happy Birthday, Mary. Thank you for everything.

Love,

Dorothea